Friday, January 7, 2011

Sad Numbers

Confused by the title of today's blog? You mean you never realized numbers had feelings too?

No. Of course numbers don't have feelings. But I have feelings, and sometimes numbers make me sad. Like that number over there on the right.

Yeah, the number that says I'm not awesome.

Okay. I admit. I'm the one who changed the title of the gadget from "Total Pageviews" to "my Awesome-ness rating..." But let's all be honest. That's what we really think when we see it.

Question: Should Mark Zuckerberk add a "Total Profile Views" gadget to Facebook?

Question: Why hasn't he?

By the way, those aren't rhetorical. I invite response via the comment thingy. And I recently changed the settings so you don't even have to have a blogger account to comment, so you have NO excuse.

Okay, I'm done. I'm not actually going to throw a pity party for myself, but I will leave up my Awesome-ness Rating thingamajigger. It makes me laugh.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Quiet home no more...

If you asked me if I prefer cats or dogs, I'd tell you dogs. Same goes for the wife. We like them so much that we went a little crazy this fall with wanting one. We picked out a breed, found some breeders, even made some inquiries, and then remembered - "hey, we're in a little apartment in Chicago. Is this really the right time to have a dog?"

Also, our landlord also has a no dog policy. So that ended that.

But that didn't end our desire for a pet. Fish are lame and make better food than pets. Birds are loud, messy, and annoying. And there's always that constant temptation to try and train it to sit on your shoulder so you can look like a pirate. K, maybe that's just me. Anywho, alligators are illegal and monkeys throw poop. Gerbils are glorified rodents and no matter what anyone says, I will never believe that a rock can be a good pet. Nope. No pet rocks for me.

So, after returning from The Big House (a.k.a. Mom and Dad's at Christmas), our apartment felt more like a mega-closet than a mini-home. And it was quiet. Too quiet.

So, pet fever set in again.

It also didn't help that a friend in the city was followed home by a stray cat and his wife put up pictures of the feline destitute.

Granted, that cat was so ugly I knew on the spot that if we got her we would just name her Ugly. Okay, I know that's harsh, but it looked more like a cow than a cat. It just did. End of story.

So it was time to hit up to world wide web. PAWS charges way too much for their cats so we went to, yes, that's right, The Anti-Cruelty Society. Duh, duh, duhhhhh...

Walking past the ACS building on Grand and LaSalle I always thought it looked more like the research center of a mad scientist than a kind home for cats and dogs in need of owners. It's not an abandoned warehouse or anything, it just never looked inviting. And with a name like "The Anti-Cruelty Society" I knew that it was either one of two things. A clever name meant to throw off innocent bystanders and mislead them into believing that good, humane things happened inside it's doors, or an actual operation by good-hearted, well-meaning, well-funded people who were bad at naming their organization. Wouldn't "Humane Society" be easier?

Anyhow, off we went on Thursday afternoon. Upon arrival the wife had to fork over her coffee because it wasn't allowed inside. First move by the ACS - uncool. But on to the kittens.

Inside the feline room were probably thirty-five to forty cages of cats of all ages. Kittens a few months old to cats on the last of their nine lives. We wanted a kitten, naturally, but the one we saw online was already claimed. Oh, no! Oreo was going to be someone else's! Egads!

But that freed us to give a fair appraisal of the other cats. There were tabbies, calicoes, persians, and all sorts. All black cats, all white cats, orange, brown, and mixed color cats. Big ones, little ones, feisty ones, frightened ones, fatties and anorexic kitties. Seriously. All sorts. So we picked out two kitties and took them out to play. First was Pineapple. He was a three month orange kitty with 'cuddly' written all over him. But after a little while we decided we wanted a cat with a little more personality. So back went Pineapple and out came Stella.

Stella was a mix between a calico, a tabby, and something else. I forget. Anyhow, where Pineapple was a flop, Stella was a homerun. One application, interview, and about forty minutes later we had a cat. Just like that. But not in a hat. K, I said that just rhyme. Back to the kitty... She's awesome. Sploches of color everywhere. Spots, stripes, patches of this next to patches of that, and then a ton of white mixed in. Black, orange, gray, white, spots, stripes, patches, and everything all mixed together. What an awesome cat! And, she came pre-spayed, with her vaccinations, deworming, microchip and everything. Pretty good deal.

Just look at her! What a cutie!




But the name had to go. Now if your name is Stella, don't worry, we probably like you. But we didn't want your name for our cat. The naming game had begun.

Porky. Peanut. Asteroid. Georgie. Nala. Felix. Hobbes. Trudy. Tiger Lilly. Spas-ti-cat.

None of them fit.

Penelope was a little better, but it didn't have anything to do with her personality or her coloration or anything. We just liked the name. The wife liked the name Cricket because of how loud her purr was, but I wasn't a fan. And on and on it went. I'd like a name but she wouldn't and vice versa. I liked Moose, but she didn't. She liked Patches but it didn't stick. With her unique colors and markings it was difficult finding a food that she resembled. Turtle? Like the ice cream? It kinda works, but doesn't.

Until last night. Epiphany.

It had been on the tip of my tongue for days. Finally, while watching her play last night I realized what she resembled. Our cat is a half-burnt marshmallow. You know, one of those perfect, huge, Jet-Puff Marshmallows that you had too close to the flame and so parts of it got singed, but other parts of it are still perfect golden brown. And all gooey on the inside. Yup. That's our cat.

I think it works on multiple levels, too. It may just be the kitten in her, but sometimes she seems a little half-baked. Haha...

So, welcome to the family Marshmallow.


We're happy you're here :)

Christmas in North Dakota - Pt. 4

Sadly, while I took pictures fairly diligently the first half of the week, during the second half of the week it became more important to just be with the family and not necessarily take pictures of everything. So, there are only a few left and some of them not so great.

We enjoyed family meals together all week. Breakfast was usually a pajama affair and lunch was a general idea that could stretch anywhere between noon and four o'clock, but dinner usually happened with all eleven of us around the table. Some nights were quieter than others, some more rowdy, but it was always just nice to see everyone's face at the same table.

On the Christmas Eve eve, the 23rd, we had a fancier dinner with candles and everything. Santa even showed up and had presents for all. Somehow I made it into the "nice" book, and in some twist of fate my brother did too. But, we both have pretty awesome wives, so that probably explains it.


The 24th arrived and we went to church for the Christmas Eve service. We went to a church we'd never been to before because we assumed it would be smaller and easier for us to navigate with the little ones. We were also surprised by the service though. It's hard to say what it was we should have expected, but I'm pretty sure none of us saw what was coming.

It wasn't dramatic, there wasn't a pageant, and it was all fairly straight forward. But perhaps the kind way of describing the event is "unrehearsed". I could also add untalented, bad, poor, shameful, lacking, or pathetic to the list, but I'm trying to be nice. The two highlights were the special song and the candlelit number "Joy to the World". The special was indeed special, but only because the singer didn't know the words, was whispering more than singing, and seemed to be having an anxiety attack. To top off the awkwardness we were invited to join in on the last stanza. It was difficult not to laugh.

"Joy to the World" felt more like bad circus music than a rousing Christmas hymn. For the first two phrases the song leader swayed between three or four different keys. It wasn't slurpy country music. It was more like a his vocal chords were a slide whistle that just couldn't find home. At no point was the entire congregation in the same key, although I tried valiantly to belt out the correct one from the back row. I think a few families joined in, but it was the most raucous hymn sing I've ever been a part of.

So, Christmas Eve was kicked off with a memorable service, then we had dinner with Grandma and a neighbor friend and a few other family friends. Later in the evening we had a fantastic game of Settlers of Catan and tried to watch a little bit of White Christmas on TCM.

Christmas day was awesome. My nephew got a litte excited and started digging through his stocking before he was supposed to, but you can't exactly re-pack it and tell him to wait, so we were off to the races. The rest of the kids soon joined in and before too long the floor was a sea of wrapping paper. Later on we went to see the grandparents at the nursing home and then we cracked open the pinochle deck after dinner for a family game. Classic. Just classic.

So, Christmas was a success. It was hard to say goodbye when my brother left Sunday morning and even harder to leave on Sunday night on the train. As the fates would have it, our train was late getting home but spot on time to leave.

And after staying at a house of eleven people for a week, our little apartment felt like a glorified closet and a little too quiet. But such is life. Being home did much to remind me the value of staying close to my family and not losing touch with them in the next year. So, here's to family. Happy New Year, all!

Friday, December 31, 2010

Christmas in North Dakota - Pt. 3

Wednesday brought a new adventure for the kids. Ice Skating! While there were skates to fit the two oldest kids, little AJ had to endure skates too large for her tiny feets. It's strange watching little kids learn to skate, struggling to skate, when I have hard time remembering a time when I didn't know how to skate! So, my brother held AJ while Dad, H, and C, made a chain gang with the kids in the middle, and we had a blast!





Christmas in North Dakota - Pt. 2

Tuesday of Christmas week meant sledding. Off to the Magic City hill to demolish some powder!

Although there were several fantastic runs down the hill, this one just had to be shared.


Everything started off well.


But something happened along the way.


Where are they going?


At least they're still making forward progress...



Almost made it.

And... Done. Finally. Backwards, but done. At least it eliminated snow in the face. Maybe? :)


I couldn't resist throwing this one up here too!



And back up the hill for more...

Christmas in North Dakota - Pt. 1

After a long autumn it was wonderful to be reunited with family at home in North Dakota. Between the siblings and in-laws and nieces and nephew we shared mom and dad's B&B (www.dakotahrose.com) between eleven people. It was amazing! Nothing beats sleeping in for a week in a hundred year old mansion with two feet of snow outside and a never-ending supply of home-made goodness flowing from the kitchen. Although I didn't take as many pictures as I would've liked, I got a handful that documented the week of bliss.

Amtrak served as our sleigh, but Santa certainly wasn't driving. Instead, we had an train conductor that was less human and more evil elf (a terrible troll, an ugly ogre - all three aptly describe his look and/or attitude, but evil elf fit the metaphor). Additionally, our train was delayed by three hours so we got home late, but we did get home. Underscore home. Sigh of relief.

Before the siblings arrived we had an informal open house for all our ND relatives and friends who were unable to be at our wedding back in June. Naturally, some people who did make it to the wedding decided to crash the open house - Ben... Aleks... :)

Here's a pic before the festivities began of Amy and I in front of the main tree (there were six!)

It was great to see so many relatives and family that I never get to see anymore and that Amy had never met. I won't lie, though, I definitely cracked open the old photo albums the night before to brush up on some relatives that I hadn't seen in a while. Fortunately, there was only one or two people that came through the door that gave me a panic while I whirled my mental rolodex for their vitals - name, relation, profession...

Things really kicked into high gear once the three-pack arrived. And by three-pack I mean my five year old niece, my three year old nephew and my two year old niece. The youngest promptly found Harrison the bear and a two-year-old size chair and planted herself in the hallway. What a cutie!


The next day we were greeted with 12 inches of snow! Woot! Dig out the tractor and attach the snowblower! Pull on the snow pants and make a few angels! Climb aboard with Papa and take a ride on the tractor!





So many pictures, so many stories. More in the next post!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Nothing to write about...

Lately, I've been getting in touch with my hypocrisy. It's a short story, and goes something like this...

(cue dream music/bubble sound effects)

Tis the start of day. Breakfast cereal in hand it's time to check in on the world.

*click* (open internet window)
*click* (check news)
*Command T* (open new tab)
*click* (check facebook)

scroll.peruse.scroll.comment.chuckle.gaspinsurprise.scroll.scroll.scroll.
onelastscroll.and...

*click* (select drop down menu of favorite blogs)
*click* (check WA family's world)

Disappointment. Oh, man... No new stories about the niece and nephew. No new pictures to tide me over till the holidays. Oh wait! Yep, there's one. A three-sentence story. Phew! Better than nothing, right? Maybe it's part of some attempt at concise writing. Effort noted, but I also love the good long stories that give you a crick in the neck from reading the laptop screen too long. But, you know, it's your blog. Don't let me cramp your concise style. Just cause I'm a professional rambler... *awkward cough* ....

*click* (select drop down menu of favorite blogs)
*click* (check NY family's world)

Let down. How long has it been since their last post? For as cute as my niece is they have to have plenty of stories they could put up, right? hmmm.... I suppose I could call more often too... Well, in the mean time, let's watch that awesome video again. *click* WHAT?! The link still isn't working? How can I inform them that the link isn't working without giving away the fact that I check their blog way to much? ...
No answer.
Deep Sigh.

Pause and regather.

*click* (check National Review online for the latest op-ed piece on how screwed up the world is)

[note: I am now just sitting, waiting for the news to refresh, finishing my cereal]

Oh yeah! Email! Maybe someone wrote me!

*click* (open mail)
*click* (refresh inbox)
Bing! YES! EMAIL!

scroll.scroll.delete.delete.highlightentiresection - delete. Oh! One from Mom! Phew! What a relief. Oh! And another email from that one thing that sends me updates all the time that I always say I'm going to read but never do. They put so much effort into sending an encouraging message but because I have an appetite for family blog their heartwarming message just falls short. delete.

Pause.

Finish cereal.

Pause.

Contemplate another bowl and one more round of internet...

Yes to bowl, no to internet...

----------

Okay, so somehow that just became a story about morning internet drama. Sorry, I got distracted by the onomonopia of typing *click* (oh, i did it again :)

Anyways, the point was to illustrate the way I can't wait to see if something new is posted by my family, but I never post anything myself. Blatant hypocrisy. I doubt they do what I do, but maybe sometimes they check my blog and say, "Really, nothing since May?" Or, "Why doesn't he ever post pictures, we still haven't seen what their apartment looks like?"

So, to my family and friends who hopefully don't check my blog nearly as often I check theirs, thanks for bearing with me. Maybe I'll learn to write more, or recognize to a greater degree the blogability of my life. Then again, maybe my lift ain't all that blogable and I should just give up. On blogging - not life.


Note: Thanks for blogging! This wasn't meant to be a subtle attempt to guilt you into writing more. So don't read it that way. Of course, if you do decide to blog more, know that I'll know, and know that my mornings will be happier :)