Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Life Changes

Today I have began a journey that matters.  I don't know what to say yet, but I'm learning how to feel, and that's a start.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I am not a "man-ape" (and I have the Man Card to prove it)

Can they get any more ridiculous? I am not a "man-ape"! 
I can only hope that what happened to our beloved "Climate Scientists" happens to our dear "Human Evolutionary Biologists". Someone, please, hack their emails and find incriminating evidence that exposes the absurdity of their thinking.
You know, I am kind of interested in finding out, however, just how many imbeciles out there believe we came from apes. I want them all to brand it on their forehead, or tattoo it on their hands. Or at least wear t-shirts constantly that say something along the lines of... oh, I don't know, "My Great Aunt is an Orangoutang", or "Don't tick off my cousin Larry, when he gets mad he throws his poop". You know, something like that. Something that says, "I made it! 1st Generation Human!".
As long as we're entertaining the absurd, I think I should point out something that these scientists seem to have missed! They've been looking at fossils from millions of years ago trying to find the missing link, but there are living missing links all around us! 
For example, take the ones who have body hair like nobody's business. I knew this guy a few years back and every morning, I kid you not, he had to divorce his head from his chest by shaving his neck - all the way around. (He somehow managed to get married. She must have a thing for sweaters). Another friend had to regularly buzz his arms because they took on the characteristics of coarse wool. Scientists! Look to these men! They stand before you in hairy glory!
Okay, I'm done with this. If you really want to read the article, just click the headline. Knock yourself out. And if you're feeling inspired, go get a stick and poke around a termite mound. Or better yet, have some family bonding time by grooming each other for tasty insects.
As to the title of the post, I do in fact have a Man Card. It was received by myself several summers ago by authorities on the issue and I have borne it ever since in solemn gratitude and dignity. 
It reads: This card entitles the bearer to all the rights and privileges of manhood, including strength, courage, and headship. 
Bam! I ain't no man-ape! 

Unexplained Hypocrisy

Pop Quiz:
Which Christian Holiday is more significant - Christmas or Easter?

If you're unsure, here are some definitions to help.

Christmas: a certain day set aside to celebrate mark the birth of Jesus Christ, God incarnate.

Easter: the day that celebrates and marks the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, his power over sin and death, the shedding of his blood for our transgressions against God that made communion with God viable, and the verification that everything he ever said was more reliable than gravity.

True, both days celebrate miraculous happenings. Both days are centered and focused on the Godman, Jesus of Nazareth, the Christ. And Christmas is necessary for Easter - he had to be here in order to die and resurrect here.  But whereas Christmas marks the beginning of the fulfillment of Old Testament Messianic prophecy, Easter (including the Holy Week) is the climax of the Christ's earthly ministry, particularly his work on the cross. Let's face it, had he not died on the cross and risen three days later his incarnation would've been phenomenally amazing but a bit anticlimactic.

So here's a little weirdness to be considered: Why, in a post-modern, post-Christian America is there so much hoopla by non-Christians (all-inclusive, i.e. Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Atheists, etc.) about Christmas, and not a whisper about Easter? 

It's possible I missed something in the news about Easter protesters, but as far as I'm aware nobody causes a stir about Easter. In fact, it's just the opposite. Straight from the first-hand experience of a reliable source (my fiance, who works in retail) there is revealing two-part report given here. 1) at Christmas in particular, folks are predominantly anti-Christian and they don't want to be wished a Merry Christmas. Sometimes they observe another holiday. Sometimes they're just haters who want to sterilize the calendar and culture. Regardless, even those who do observe Christmas (with biblical conviction) tend to be timid when it comes to wishing others a Merry Christmas. After all, who wants to risk being the recipient of our new cultural curse: The American Atheist's Evil Eye of Scorn and Disgust (it is given whenever a "Merry Christmas" is ill-received).  2) People left and right have been wishing my fiance a Happy Easter all day long. She has had the distinct privilege of filling in for a coworker today and for eight hours has encounter coffee addicts out for a Sunday stroll. And from their lips has come a bright and joyful, Happy Easter!

So. Do the American areligious simply avoid going out-of-doors on Easter Sunday? Or are they just ignorant of the fact that Easter is the biggest deal in the universe?! It would only make sense that if someone were anti-Christian or at least opposed to the observation of Christian holidays, the very last thing passing through their lips would be a greeting calling attention to the risen Christ. Please, could someone offer some sort of explanation for this hypocrisy?